Crystal Palace – Alternative History & Information

The South London side were founded in 1861 by staff working at the Great Exhibition in Paxton’s Crystal Palace, after the builder had named the famous Road.  Besides bearing the name of an already famous football end, they became the first team in the history of the game to play in an indoor stadium.  There were no fears for the state of the pitch as the clear glass structure let natural light in to allow the grass to grow well.  The building did have it’s problems though and the regular breaking of glass from wayward shots meant the players had to develop skills in repairing them, which in turn earned them the nickname of “the Glaziers”.

Palace entered the first ever FA Cup competition in 1871 and got as far as the semi-finals before they regularly appeared in the final, but only as a venue – not as a team.  In 1915, the Army took over the ground and the club moved to Herne Hill and The Den, before finally settling in The Nest.  They were founder members of Division 3 in 1920 and became the (South) champions in 1921, but it was 1924 before they built their new ground on a former brickfield, because they didn’t have far to go to get materials.  The two tall chimneys that remained from the former industry were put to good use as flagpoles and floodlight pillars.  The new ground hosted some of the eight FA Cup ties the club played between 1929 and 1931, which contained two 0-0 draws, but 44 goals in other games.  During these two decades they ran up in Div.3 three times and were still in that position in 1961 (Div. 4) and 64 (Div.3).  It was in the latter season that Kevin Smith rammed home a goal in 6 seconds against Derby County.  Around this time, Palace’s Vic Rouse also became the first player from the 4th Division to receive an international cap.

It was 1969 before they got to the First Division after finishing second in Div.2.  It brought about a rich era of memories for the club with FA Cup semi-finals in 1976, mind-bending kit design and big hats, hair and moustaches .  It was around this time they became the Eagles, as there was a great following of the American MOR band amongst the officials at the club.  With Terry Venables at the helm, the side were hailed as the “Team of the Eighties”, which was great news for the Second Division. After that they became a yo-yo team bouncing between the top two divisions, but recently their string has snapped.  Ron Noades still owns the ground, but left the team to fend for itself and receivership was knocking on the door until the supporters decided to set up a trust fund to try and rescue the club.  It is only ten years since they were in the FA Cup Final and in the top division, but financial mismanagement has hit Palace hard.  Indeed, they were one of the founder members of the Premier League, although they obviously weren’t too keen on the concept, having been one of the teams relegated most often from it.

One of the most amazing turnarounds in the club’s history came in 1990 when they lost to Liverpool 0-9, but came back eight months later to beat them 4-3 in an FA Cup semi-final.  It was something the fans never expected to see as they used to sing about their captain Cannon 

“When Jim goes up, 
To lift the FA Cup,
We’ll be dead,
We’ll be dead !!”

They even managed to draw 3-3 with Man. U in the final before going down to a single goal in the replay.

Iain Dowie struggled to keep the team playing with limited resources despite having achieved promotion via the 2004 play-offs, coming from a place near the bottom of the table when he took over earlier in the season.  At the time, having to sell their best players and pick up others from wherever they can may see the club stay afloat but these are scary times, but when you have had players called Skull and Ghost on the books, it is nothing to get spooked about.

And that was something that continued, until, after a couple of changes in management, brought Ian Holloway to the manager’s office.  He galvanised a squad full of young talent and a few old heads to get back to the Premier League in 2013 through the play-offs, with a sweet semi-final victory over their local rivals Brighton and Hove Albion on the way.  Struggles at the bottom of the Premier League brought managerial changes and former player Alan Pardew took over at New Year 2015 to try to steer the Eagles to a loftier perch, then Sam Allardyce kept them up and Frank de Boer popped into the Palace but was soon dispatched.  The reins were handed to local lad Roy Hodgson, but they might have as well been ruins, with Palace not getting a point from their first games of 2017-18.

FAMOUS PLAYERS : – Terry Long, Ian Evans, Don Rogers, Jack Johnson, Dan Scott, Barry Short, Paddy Mulligan, John “Budgie” Byrne, Dean Austin, Len “Eagle” Beagle, John Jackson, Scott Dann.

FAMOUS FANS : – Roy Hudd (Comedian), Roger de Courcey and Nookie Bear (Comedy Ventriloquist), the late Sean Hughes (Comedian), Jo Brand (Comedienne), Mark Butcher (Cricketer), Kevin Day (Comedian), Eddie Izzard (Comedian), Neil Morrisey (Comic Actor – “Men Behaving Badly”), Suzanna Reid (News presenter – BBC Breakfast, Good Morning Britain [ITV]).